the poet

you want to know  how can anyone  large shadow  a, b, c  time of day  spring  look out my window  I see you staring  cruel place  somewhere  endings  not me  sun shines  stare at the mirror  hurt, pain  To A Soulmate  tiger's eyes  rain splatters  treat me like shit?  fire inside!  No One  journeys  love and lust  My Friend  falling  bitch, whore  no comfort  yes, yes  the music begins  somewhere i know  no longer  understanding  smurf  in...out...  Label.  addiction  lie in the darkness  frustrations  Fire  cold, alone  SheWhoKnows  you fell in love  human  wolf sees all  what to think  i feel lost  angel  twelve 

Somewhere out there is a smile for me
Somewhere . . .
But not in this dimension.
Cross the Great Divide?
Not in this lifetime.
No, no.
Tears are all the emotion on this face.
What does it mean?
What do I mean?
To you.
To me.
To him.
Him, he, that man.
Just another one?
Not to me.
Probably to him.
I'm stupid.
I'll never understand.
Hmm, I said in this lifetime.
What about the next?
Or if there is no next life.
Then what about whatever comes after death.
Or what about the nothingness?
The beginning of life.
You cannot live until you start to die.
Babies die, children die, adults die.
I die.
To accept death with open arms.
Ah! What a pleasant thought.
I could accept it, but not openly.
There's still a part of me that wants to live.
To be with him.
And why not?
After all, death begins with life.
And I have not yet lived.
How could I die?
Easily, I tell myself.
Pull the trigger, put pressure on the hilt.
Take a big swallow, go for a swim.
'Twould be so easy.
And yet so hard.
Easy as 1, 2, 3 ... 4
1. Thinking about it.
2. Planning it.
3. Doing it.
4. Succeeding in doing enough damage.
not check.
One day maybe.
But after a bowl of Frosted Flakes,
Not today.